My life and the world from my eyes

The Un-Winnable War January 20, 2012

Filed under: Blog 365,Family,Inspirational,Interracial,Life,Marriage,Parenting,Racism,Random,Thoughts — faithfamilyfearlessness @ 4:24 pm

I’m starting to come to the conclusion that there are some things that I cannot change.
Some people will continue to posses the same ignorant and biased ideals their parents possessed,
And their parents before them;
Unapologetically undermining and disrespecting,
Generalizing and dismissing entire groups of people for no other reason than the color of their skin.
It comes at me every day from all sides,
People feel this false sense of freedom to speak with no accountability for their words on Facebook and Twitter, its just wrong.
People generalize and belittle others, criticizing them and dissecting them, with the mentality that they have the right to do that.
Everyone does have the right to their opinion, sure.
Whether or not I agree with it,
Whether or not its moral or good,
They have a right to feel the way they do and think the way they think.
I can’t change their hearts.
I can’t make them change their ways or their words.
I am not God.
But it doesn’t keep this fire from igniting in my heart and my belly every time I hear these comments of hatred.

I recently saw a photo on an acquaintance’s page (who is no longer on my friends list).
The photo was an image of a white teenage boy at a party, shirt off and a baseball cap turned backwards.
He appeared to be drunk, and was standing next to a table covered in cups and bottles.
His arms were extended and his hands contorted slightly, not in a gang sign or anything but just slightly curled at the fingertips.
He was making an angry, goofy, drunk face and looked pretty ridiculous.
Above his head the photo read “My parent’s make 100k a year, and I act like a broke black kid.”
My “friend” had shared the picture with the caption “This describes about 75% of the region.”

There are so many things wrong with this, I am having trouble breaking it all down.
So many feelings and emotions.
I will try to simplify.
How on earth does a rich white kid acting like a drunken fool equate to him behaving like a “broke black kid?”
There are people without class in every race, ethnicity, gender, and social status in every place on earth.
The color of your skin doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with it.
Having money doesn’t mean you have class;
People who act like fools, are fools,
Black, white, brown or purple.

I hate it when people see someone acting ignorantly and say “He acts black,” or “Talks black.” What does that MEAN!
That because someone uses incorrect English that is automatically associated with being black?
That because someone is loud or emulates the style of a rapper they act black?
How do people not see how offensive that is?
If someone is acting like a trashy hillbilly,
That has nothing to do with who I am.
White or not, associating me with someone who has no manners or class is not something I would take kindly.
There shouldn’t be a double standard.
We are both white, thats the end of the things we have in common so why categorize us together?
We aren’t all the same.

Another person on my sister’s friends list was complaining about MLK day.
About how its a stupid holiday and just because some black guy got shot why should he get his own holiday?
My sister called her out on her racist, ignorant remark.
But so many people on her status applauded her and agreed with her.
MLK was a great man who changed the way our country is shaped forever.
Without his effort and determination, the move to end segregation would have gone very differently.
He taught non-violece, peace and equality.
He was an amazing, Godly man.
But people get mad and say “Well why should he get a holiday just because he was black.”
Complete ignorance of his accomplishments and who he was as a person only scratches the surface.
Why SHOULDN’T he?!
How many holidays have origins of a white person or white people?
St. Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, Columbus Day, Presidents Day (until 2008 but still invented to honor white men).
There are plenty more but those are all I can think of right now.
But still, why shouldn’t a great black man be honored for the amazing difference he made in our country and the world?
It’s sick and twisted to think that anyone actually resents him having a holiday.

Then I realize, these young people did not come to these conclusions on their own;
They were bred that way.
Hate produces more hate;
Sadly, it’s very rare for a person to abandon what they grew up with.
Religion, yes, because that is a set of rules that is easy to challenge and search elsewhere for a better fit.
But with a belief system on social classes,
On other races and the way they are perceived,
These children were raised to feel this way;
As they grew, they just became that much bolder and more vocal.
The seeds of hate were always there,
Ever since their conception.
It’s hard to fight what has been made to be a part of your thought proccess.

But still, I can’t give up hope, that one day things wont be like this.
I can’t stop believing that the world my children will grow up in will be different than this mess.
My children are both black and white, but just like almost every other biracial person they will be identified by most as simply black.
These racist remarks,
The pointed words and the not so subtle ways of singling people out is not what I want for them.
I don’t want my children to have to feel different,
I don’t want them to be treated like they are different.
I want them to be proud of who they are.
That is up to me and my husband,
To tell them every day how beautiful and smart and special that they are.
How color doesn’t matter,
Character matters.
How no matter what happens,
Never to let anyone make them feel like anything but wonderful and chosen by God for greatness.
But that doesn’t change everyone.
We will raise our kids correctly,
But what about the rest of the world?
Will they?

I feel like I’m at war with my own race.
Like every time I turn around there is another case of blatant ignorance I have to defend my children and husband against.
I fight for them every day,
That wont ever change.
I wont let people keep giving me a bad name with their intolerance,
Because whether I like it or not,
When white people act like fools people group me with them,
And I wont let them speak the wrong message for me.
That is not how I feel,
That isn’t whats right.
I wont just stand by and say nothing.

Maybe I’m fighting an un-winnable war,
Without much back up or hope of victory.
But every time I stand up for my family,
Thats one less person who can say what they please without consequences.
They have a right to say it,
And I have a right to point out the ignorance oozing from their words.

Maybe its an un-winnable war,
But I’m not going to surrender,
Even if its the death of me.
It’s too important.
It’s too precious.
One person at a time,
Change can happen,
Miracles can happen,
With God anything is possible.



Blessing 20: My Caramel Babies
-Their beautiful bronze skin glows with light and love. They are a perfect, and I would never change a hair on their little heads.


2 Responses to “The Un-Winnable War”

  1. Simply put… You are a warrior for a good cause. This is simply amazing… I’m so proud of you.

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