My life and the world from my eyes

Decade March 31, 2012

Filed under: Blog 365,Family,Inspirational,Life,Marriage,Parenting,Random,Thoughts — faithfamilyfearlessness @ 10:16 pm

I had a wonderful surprise when going to the mailbox this evening.
A letter from a dear friend.
Its funny how in this day and age of texting and email and facebook how rare an actual,
physical letter from someone really is.
As I read her words I felt instantly reconnected to her,
And an overwhelming wave of sadness hit me as I realized just how long it had been since she left.
Six years this October since her Dad got a promising new job that moved her family from their lifelong home in Crown Point Indiana all the way to Houston.
Just a few short weeks before Anthony was born,
He was seven months old before she ever actually got to meet him.
My life at that time was stormy at best,
And the Crowe family served as a surrogate home during my seasons of hardship.
Almost every weekend we spent in their pool,
Or hanging out watching movies and having giggly girl time.
Their leaving marked a change in my life in many other ways too.
A few short weeks later I went from being a sixteen year old girl to being a mother,
And my childhood,
And my best friend were all gone just like that.
I never have found another friend like her.
Another friend that I could share everything with,
Another friend who just understood everything about me,
Even if it wasn’t really even something she agreed with;
Understanding without a real explanation ever needed.
As the years have passed so much has happened;
My first job, my wedding, my first home, three (soon to be four) children;
A whole lifetime of milestones.
Still, there will always be this place in my heart that can never really be filled by other friendships.
A genuine love and connection that only a sister can feel (and I have four sisters so I know lol).
I have this box of pictures and mementos in my closet of times with alanna;
Maybe I am just a hoarder but I love things like that,
Tiny memories of all those moments that have faded.
I miss her so much.
I miss her as a person,
And who she was in my life.
And every year that passes feels like a lifetime.
Texas feels like a million miles away,
And may as well be as often as we don’t get to see each other.
But still, even as we have built these brand new lives and grown from girls to women,
I will always accredit so much of who I am today to our friendship and all that it did for me.
No matter what,
Whether we talked last week or six months ago,
I know that whatever I need, whenever I need it she is always there.
I know that we will always be friends regardless where life takes us,
Because our friendship has a foundation that proximity has no effect on.
We have history that gives us the strength to live our lives always knowing,
We have each other.
We are different people now, sure.
But a part of me, and of her, and a part of you,
Always has that child in it.
That innocent little girl that giggled until 3 am with her best friend,
Who played in the snow,
And played dress up.
Who painted nails and put on too much make up.
Who laughed about boys,
And cried about boys.
Who danced to cheesy pop songs,
And took hundreds of pictures of ourselves because for some reason it made us feel pretty.
The little girl is always there,
And that wont ever change.
And that best friend that we shared all those memories with,
That wont ever change either.
Its been a decade since Alanna and I first met.
Ten years of living our lives.
Ten years of growing and changing and laughing and learning,
A decade of memories to share.

And heres to many many more decades of friendship,
A friendship I know will never end,
And I am eternally grateful for.



One Response to “Decade”

  1. Alanna Caffarel Says:

    As I read this time and time again , parts of my heart weaken and harden in the same moment . It is beyond hard not physically having you here in my life to laugh with , cry with, and be a reassuring hand to always hold. I have looked , not looked , and given up on looking for someone I could even laugh with as much as you . A few weeks ago I watched our old home videos of our fashion shows and scary movies just to hear you laugh and see us together in the same room . I miss and love u more than u will even be able to understand ….


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