faithfamilyfearlessness

My life and the world from my eyes

Screw It June 8, 2012

Filed under: Family,Growing Up,Inspirational,Life,Marriage,Parenting,Random,Thoughts — faithfamilyfearlessness @ 9:50 pm

I have been told that I am too insecure.
That it’s unattractive and annoying.
I say, screw it.
I’m honest.
I say what I feel and I write whats on my heart.
Maybe sometimes its messy,
Or imperfect or whatever,
But its real;
Its who I am,
And if you were all honest with yourself,
You have insecurities too.
The question is not whether or not we all have them,
It’s how honest we are when it comes to dealing with them.
I deal with mine by addressing them,
I talk about them,
Internalizing makes me slightly insane,
And I would rather be a little too honest than crazy.
I have flaws,
But I don’t flaunt them,
I just stopped hiding from them a long time ago.
I write about the truth in my life,
And its not to get attention.
I write the way that I do because putting thoughts to paper makes them a little more manageable in my mind and heart.
I write the way I do because maybe, just maybe, someone else feels the way I do sometimes;
And maybe knowing I feel this way will make them feel a little less alone.
So hey,
Like it or don’t like it’s okay with me.
I am insecure,
I know that about myself.
I don’t know if or when that will change,
But I know the last thing I want to be is fake.
When I feel something I’m going to write about it,
And if it bothers you then, hey, no one forced you to read.
Being genuine is the only thing that makes a blog worth reading,
What the heck is the point in reading a bunch of fake BS that barely skims the surface of that persons reality?
I’m me.
Love me or hate me,
This is who I am.
So take me with my flaws or just keep scrolling on your browser.

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4 Responses to “Screw It”

  1. bhaskaryya Says:

    You are right, being insecure is better than being fake. Everyone is insecure in one way or the other, and it would be wise if we try to deal with it than to proclaim of not being insecure. And I have too felt this, that writing is one of the ways of letting our emotions out

  2. Kim Says:

    I LOVE your writing, Naomi!! I can’t tell you how many times you have PERFECTLY resonated with my heart and soul!! More often than not, your honesty and reality “force” me to that deeper place in myself where I, too, can no longer “hide” from how I am feeling. Pain, joy, smiles, or tears … I usually leave your blog stirred to the core. I’d love to be able to grasp all those thoughts and emotions and tame them into a comment to let you know I really truly can empathize and understand the things you walk through — even though I will never walk that same exact path (set of circumstances) that you have. But your honesty and depth hit to the root of that place in each of our hearts that resonates with the feelings and emotions we share as humans walking through a fallen world.

    And I totally agree … life is not all a bed of roses, and those who tweet and post all the great stuff, while “hiding” the rough times, are not honest, real or fair. God calls us all to walk the hard trails and use those times to strengthen others as we gain our victory. How can we do that if we continually “mask” the reality of where we are?? I’ve been accused of being “too honest” (to use a nicer phrase than was said). I’m not sure there is such a thing. Maybe the real issue is the people who want to ‘know our business’ or ‘how I am doing’ but then don’t REALLY want to take the time or concern to hear the REAL answer. It makes them uncomfortable when we stray from the socially acceptable “I’m fine”.

    Just for the record, I love how you are so real and genuine … and you never come across to me as “whining” or “insecure”! Quite the contrary … you have come through so much in your life .. and have built a legacy of faith, strength, perseverance, and victory in the failures and successes of it all. It takes a lot of security (which I have yet to find) to write a blog and “air your laundry” with a world that finds it easier to sling more mud than to face that maybe … just maybe … they are the ones that need to get more honest and caring. Love is such an easy thing to say … it takes a lot to climb in a casket and ride out the storm with someone who is fighting for their life!

    I just wish I could have found the time and words to let you know, at the end of each blog, how I’ve laughed or cried or cheered you on. I wish you could know all the ways you’ve helped me by giving me permission to be “REAL” even if just to myself alone in the dark of a midnight hour with no one to see but my computer screen … and you through your blog…. as the anger or hurt or tears finally find permission to come to light. And always, your faith and courage are there in the end to keep me connected with my Father’s Love and afloat in the sea of faceless humanity instead of drowning in all the chaotic emotions. I find PEACE and JOY again. “Better out than in”, as a dear friend reminds me. We gotta make room for the positive to flood back in.

    So keep writing … keep sharing … keep ignoring the naysayers … because what you say matters … even if to just me!! Love you, girl!! Can’t wait to hear about your new one making his grand entrance! The world needs more moms like you raising kingdom warriors! And on those days when everything seems so crazy and you wonder how you’ll make it through, please know that “I KNOW” those feelings … and you ALREADY HAVE made it through all those other times .. and His Glory shines through them when others look at you!

  3. Greg Staub Says:

    Keep saying what you feel you need to say Naomi. I always listen.

    Greg

  4. filmsgeek Says:

    Honesty is messy, but it’s also attractive. Be who you are and don’t let anyone else ruin it sis. You rock.


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