My life and the world from my eyes

Breathe July 24, 2012

Filed under: Family,Growing Up,Inspirational,Life,Marriage,Parenting,Random,Thoughts — faithfamilyfearlessness @ 1:19 pm

Sunday evening I seriously thought I was going into labor,
Which really freaked me out since I’m not due for another three weeks.
I have done my best to be prepared for Peanut’s arrival,
But those of you with kids know that you are never truly 100% prepared.
Labor for me has always come when I have been too busy to do dishes,
The evening I am just so worn out I can barely keep my eyes open,
After laundry has been neglected for a few days;
You know, the inconvenient times that just scream irony.
But still all three of my boys have come no more than a couple of days before their due date,
So when my contractions were coming 6-8 minutes apart for roughly 7 hours I worried.
But all I could think about was that if labor stopped I was going to have to bear a day with all my kids plus three extras the next day.
So around midnight I looked at my husband and with a calm smile I announced “I’m going to lay down and take a nap because I either have a long day tomorrow or a long work out later tonight. I will wake you up if they don’t stop.”
The poor man then hopped in his car and ran to Wal-Mart to pick up some last minute items for the hospital bag, then anxiously stayed up until 2:30 waiting to see if I was going to wake up and head to the hospital.
Luckily for all of us though, the contractions stopped once I fell asleep.
Maybe a practice run was good preparation,
If nothing else it freaked me out enough to realize all the things that I still need to get done,
And accept that if they don’t get done baby boy will still get here,
And everything will be just fine.
SInce Sunday I have had random contractions throughout the day, but nothing consistent thats really setting off alarm bells.
I have found that if I am on my feet for more than an hour, they start again.
This is a dilemma.
When you are caring for small children, sitting down and relaxing isn’t part of your daily routine.
There is laundry to fold and dishes to wash and about a million other things that need to get done at any given moment.
“Take it easy.” Everyone keeps telling me this.
I wish it were as simple to implement as it is to say.
And sure, my husband has been great, helping with meals and cleaning the kitchen every night to help me stay off my feet, but he works an awful lot and so its not practical to rely on him all the time.
Four kids.
Four kids.
Four kids.
It seems like so many.
Mel will be starting school again right around when Peanut is born, and technically I’m not even supposed to lift enough weight to pick Devin up for several weeks after giving birth.
That will be a trick.
“Sorry sixteen month old son of mine, mommy cant pick you up for bed so please be a dear and sprout wings and fly into your crib for nap time.”
And even though all the “what if’s” can really stress me out,
I have this underlying sense of calm somewhere deep down.
Everything will work out.
Everything will be fine.
So all I can do from now until whatever day this little one decides to arrive is be as ready as I can,
And maybe try to listen to everyone’s advice and not over do it.
Try is the key word there.
Our bodies tell us things when we listen,
And maybe all these aches and pains and practice contractions are sending me some signals.
Now all I have to do is get myself psyched up enough to go through labor again.
That one is still a work in progress…*ouch*
Just breathe.
Everything in God’s perfect timing right?
Baby will be here when he is ready,
And I don’t get to control it or predict that.


Beautiful Life July 22, 2012

Filed under: Blog 365,Family,Growing Up,Inspirational,Life,Marriage,Parenting,Random,Thoughts — faithfamilyfearlessness @ 1:24 pm

Life is so beautiful…


Love is so precious…


Embrace every moment…


Treasure the gifts you have been given…


Cherish every smile…


Appreciate the present…


Hope for the future…


Embrace the role you have been given…


Find the beauty in everything…


Be eternally grateful for your blessings…


And live every moment like there is no tomorrow…


Photos By Katrina Lonadier: 07-15-2012 Me @ 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant with baby #4


Normal Friday July 20, 2012

Filed under: Family,Growing Up,Inspirational,Life,Loss,Parenting,Random,Thoughts — faithfamilyfearlessness @ 9:44 am

My alarm went off this morning at its usual time.
My fifteen month old son lay sideways next to me, legs resting on my chest.
Devin’s footed dinosaur pajamas make him look smaller and bigger than he is at the same time, and his gentle snoring makes me want nothing more than to roll over and snuggle him for the remainder of the day.
But reality calls and I slowly (and awkwardly) manage to sit up and get out of bed, despite my large protruding belly making balance a foreign word.
As I enter the living room my five year olds bright smiling face greets me.
He is curled up on the couch watching power rangers, as he does most mornings, without a care in the world.
Jordan is still sound asleep in his bed, resembling a chubby little bear cub as he ignores the noises of the morning in our house and peacefully dreams four year old kind of dreams.
Yup, it seems to be a pretty normal Friday.
Until I log onto facebook and see posts about a tragic shooting in Colorado last night.
Some crazy man walks into a movie theater with tear gas and three guns, kills twelve people and injures fifty others.
How is this possible?
Sure, Colorado is over a thousand miles away from my small midwestern town, but the ache I feel for those affected by this is just as intense as if it had happened here.
No one should die that way.
Sure, death happens all over the world, every single day, but the deaths most frustrating to me are the deliberate and the senseless.
Those people died for no reason other than a 24 year olds sick and twisted fantasy.
I’m 36 weeks pregnant today.
Just a few more weeks and we will meet our youngest son.
My three boys sit at my feet on our living room rug, innocently playing with their toys, wrestling, and enjoying each other like little boys do.
There is such a short window in our lives, when we don’t know how sad and frightening the world really is.
My boys have no idea that around the world people are broken and hurt and dying.
They don’t know there are sicknesses without treatments and that some children woke up with empty, aching bellies and have no food to fill them.
I am reminded of two things today.
If all you focus on is the negative, the negative is all you will see.
While I am deeply saddened by this tragedy, I have to focus on my children, and my life and my future, for them and for me.
Life is short, and no one is promised tomorrow.
All you can do is enjoy every moment as it comes;
The song of my children’s laughter,
The warmth of their hugs,
And the joy that they bring me.
If I didn’t believe that in the end good triumphs over evil,
I could not bring children into this world.
But here I am,
About to give birth all over again,
And so I am trusting that there is a plan,
And that there is a purpose for everything and everyone.


Photo of me @ 35 weeks, by Katrina Lonadier.