My alarm went off this morning at its usual time.
My fifteen month old son lay sideways next to me, legs resting on my chest.
Devin’s footed dinosaur pajamas make him look smaller and bigger than he is at the same time, and his gentle snoring makes me want nothing more than to roll over and snuggle him for the remainder of the day.
But reality calls and I slowly (and awkwardly) manage to sit up and get out of bed, despite my large protruding belly making balance a foreign word.
As I enter the living room my five year olds bright smiling face greets me.
He is curled up on the couch watching power rangers, as he does most mornings, without a care in the world.
Jordan is still sound asleep in his bed, resembling a chubby little bear cub as he ignores the noises of the morning in our house and peacefully dreams four year old kind of dreams.
Yup, it seems to be a pretty normal Friday.
Until I log onto facebook and see posts about a tragic shooting in Colorado last night.
Some crazy man walks into a movie theater with tear gas and three guns, kills twelve people and injures fifty others.
How is this possible?
Sure, Colorado is over a thousand miles away from my small midwestern town, but the ache I feel for those affected by this is just as intense as if it had happened here.
No one should die that way.
Sure, death happens all over the world, every single day, but the deaths most frustrating to me are the deliberate and the senseless.
Those people died for no reason other than a 24 year olds sick and twisted fantasy.
I’m 36 weeks pregnant today.
Just a few more weeks and we will meet our youngest son.
My three boys sit at my feet on our living room rug, innocently playing with their toys, wrestling, and enjoying each other like little boys do.
There is such a short window in our lives, when we don’t know how sad and frightening the world really is.
My boys have no idea that around the world people are broken and hurt and dying.
They don’t know there are sicknesses without treatments and that some children woke up with empty, aching bellies and have no food to fill them.
I am reminded of two things today.
If all you focus on is the negative, the negative is all you will see.
While I am deeply saddened by this tragedy, I have to focus on my children, and my life and my future, for them and for me.
Life is short, and no one is promised tomorrow.
All you can do is enjoy every moment as it comes;
The song of my children’s laughter,
The warmth of their hugs,
And the joy that they bring me.
If I didn’t believe that in the end good triumphs over evil,
I could not bring children into this world.
But here I am,
About to give birth all over again,
And so I am trusting that there is a plan,
And that there is a purpose for everything and everyone.
Photo of me @ 35 weeks, by Katrina Lonadier.